Something I read off the internet

Why do people get married?

What happens after you get married and falls in love with another? The point is you are not in lust but there is something that the other person has that your own partner does not have? Does your heart ache for the other but yet feel guilty because of the vows you have made to your spouse? It does not mean you do not love your spouse anymore or even less than before. Something about the other person just seems to make you brighten up instantly. You just want to know the other party better, see the other party more often and maybe somewhere deep down you think how you should met the other party earlier.

So why does the human race want/need to get married?

I am married. In fact, recently made the jump from single to married status within seconds of saying "I DO". Now suddenly on all surveys, government questionnaires, lucky draw coupons and so on, I find myself ticking the tiny little married box.

I love my husband very much. (weird now calling him that, just a few weeks ago he was still my "boyfriend".) He has gone thru my moments of madness, bouts of crying, series of unreasonable demands and yet still wants me and loves me dearly. I cannot imagine anyone else who would want to put up with me and yet still supports me.

I love him dearly as well and cannot imagine life without him. How I know? My heart breaks into a million pieces when we fight. I lose sleep over him when he ignores me. My tears flow freely when he rebukes me. Who or what else would have power to create such emotions within me except for the ONE?

Here's the tricky part.

There is this guy out there. I have a hugh crush on him and him ONLY. He does not know it nor does anybody else. I can't tell anybody. I am afraid of the repercussions. I am confused. But I can't help it. Everytime I see him my heart does a little dance on it's own. I feel a little floaty when I see him. His smile makes me melt. Sometimes when I look at him and he looks right back I can feel this strong connection. The communication that exists without words. I am fairly sure this is a one sided affair on my part. Sometimes I even wonder if he knows my lil secret. He is a gentleman and would not expose me but there are times I wish he knew and reciprocate the feelings.

And I have been feeling this way since DAY 1 of our acquaintance. It is not a one off feeling for me. Then I was attached, he was attached. Shortly he was single and I was wondering if we would ever have a chance together. But I never broke off with my boyfriend and then I said "Yes" to his proposal and now am married to a very sweet man.

I know I made the decision to marry by saying "Yes" and some would say I am being very selfish by thinking of another man.

I am sorry. I am so sorry. I am so so sorry.

The feelings of a human being are so complex at times. Is it possible to love 2 persons at the same time? Maybe my husband is also in the same situation as me? Secretly, if he is, it makes me feel less guilty but I will probably punish him till the end of time.

Me selfish? Yes. Me feelings complex? Definitely. Me regret marrying my husband? No. Me telling the other man about my feelings? No.

So why did I get married?

I can't remember why now....