Heart Pumping

Have not had such a feeling for a long time.

The feeling of nerves wrecking against each other. Pulse racing and the feeling of unable to breathe. Probably the last time I felt this was when I ROM-ed in 2005. But then again those were anticipation of the unknown when i say "I do".

This time...

...more of the feeling of tiredness and unbearable feeling that I know I have put in so much effort and work into something that I am still unsure of.

Feels like "A" levels day all over again. Getting an E, although a pass is not enough to get into university. Even a C is mediocre.

Now? 70% is the passing mark. Not 50%, not 60%, not 69%. God knows how many times I came so close to that 70%.

The Man told me I better feel the stress now and pass the bloody paper. What if I don't? The Man told me to find another career. The stress I feel from him is more than anybody else's. I know he is trying to give me the PUSH. Stress level has upped another notch. Ouch!

God give me strength and wisdom. Send your angels to guide me. Hold my hand and walk me through. Calm my zealous pumping heart.

Thump-thump...thump-thump...thump-thump.....