Friendships. Are they real?

Outwardly I look like the kind who would be surrounded by friends. Inwardly I hate to make small talk to people, entertain others and waste my time. I just want friends who I can really rely on and I think my time and effort should be just spent on these good friends. Any more and I cannot maintain a deep and true enough friendship.

These are just in my humble opinions.But sometimes even those friends whom I think would stick through thick and thin with me get caught up in their own lives and then chase after something and then forgets your existence.

I am a scorpio and I can't help it.

The first emotion that would grow from me would be anger. Pure anger of betrayal because they forget about you, what you have done and your promises to each other to be there for all the good and bad times.

Anger because you feel used.

Used in a way that "Hey we are pals when I need you! Now that I am busy, I can't spend any more of my precious time with you cos I need to go and build my empire!" When this happens, friendship is just so cheap.

Pure anger would turn to sadness.

Sad because you have been disappointed by his/her actions. They don't care about you and it breaks your heart.

Maybe I value friendship too much. Or maybe I expect too much from a friendship and everybody changes overtime and they have their own lives to live.

But I live by the rule of " Do unto others what you want to be done unto you"I have tried my best. Of cos I expect the same results and friends to be there for me as well when I go out of my way to be there for them. When the going gets tough and the tough gets going only a few will be left standing there for you. And those who are there for you are a surprising few not because you don't expect them to be there but more of you don't expect those who really mean something to you can't even hold a candle to the few left standing there for you.

So are friendships real?

This reminds me of those Prison's ad where they show a lone person in a cell and the words something along the line of "and my brothers say they will never leave me"

Human beings are plain selfish? Looking out for themselves? Or just plain forgetful about the times when you were there for them?

Maybe what they say is true. Blood is thicker than water. However bad my brother and I fight, and I mean really fight. Like I disowned you/hate you/wish you didn't exist kind of fight. We always managed to make up and as siblings do what siblings do. Love and support each other.

Or like what other peole say although I have never quite figure out who are these "other people" when one gets married the husband/wife is the most reliable/closest person to you. I feel so much closer to my hubby after the wedding. I had a lot of problems and he never once rebuke me for my mistakes but was there helping me, consoling me, cheering me up all the way.

Friendship? I dare not say I have friends whom I know would come to rescue me if I was in deep shit. Because human beings are so complex, they surprise me all the time with their irrational behaviour. The way they think I cannot fathom if they know that it is wrong. Or they think so what if it is wrong, their interests must always come first.

God, I am so glad I love you because you first love me. No matter how I feel or what I do I know you love me and will be here for me.

Friends and friendships?

Maybe I am really expecting too much from them?