Still Sick

Feeling worse than before. Phlegm flooding my lungs and my throat is as dry as the Sahara desert. Will be going to the clinic again, not the one at The Cannery.

Here I am sitting watching "The Joy Luck Club".

Four older women, all Chinese immigrants living in San Fransico, meet regularly to play mah-jong, eat, and tell stories. Each of these women have adult Chinese-American daughters. The film reveals the hidden pasts of the older women and explores cultural conflict and the relationships between mothers and daughters.

What's up with Chinese mothers anyway? Always having such high expectations of their children. I feel like part of the film already. There are those times when nothing you can do to make your mother happy. And mothers do not know how much power and control they have over you. Whether if it was a nod, a smile or any twitch on their face. It was enough tochange your entire mood for the day. And yet you continue to please her.

BUT, mothers continue to love us while they torture us. They want the best interest for us. It's just that they do not know how to express themselves. Sometimes mothers are like babies. Babies can only cry when they need something or show their displeasure. Mothers scrowl and scream when they want to express themselves.

I do not know why I am writing all these. I have not seen my mother for 6 months! I do miss her you know. But yet I know when we are together, our opinions will surely clash.

The Joy Luck Club actually talks about self worth, which in my opinion is the most important for a woman. Self worth, not measued by which man she is with, not measured by what kind of family she is born into, not measured by how others judged her, not measured by her career.

Self worth, something that no matter what, she can go ahead and do what she really wants and not feel bad about it. Something that no matter how others put her down, she is able to think out of the box and create a btter situation for herself.

Remember when something unpleasant happens to you, tell yourself, it could have been worse.

It really could have been worse, so stop whining and give yourself a pat on your back for the job well done. Suck it up and look at alternatives.

I know I know, once again, another incoherant blog. It must be the drowsy cough formula I am taking

12.14pm - Time to look for some lunch. Hungweeee.....